Skip to main content

I Am Probably Insane

I should NOT be blogging this...  If I believed in jinxes, I would totally think I was jinxing it.

*This post is being added in so its published on the correct day, not a week later when it will be completely irrelevant*

Crazy Rachel thinks she is pregnant.  Why, you ask?  No real reason.  I have not been charting, so I have not idea if/when I ovulated.

I am on cycle day 27, which is one day short of my 5 year average.  Isn't that crazy?  Over the last 5 years I have with cycles ranging from about 15-71 days, averaged out to 28.  Anyways, my average cycle length is fairly meaningless, since my cycles have been all over the place the last year or so.  But my last 5 cycles have been 23,26,20,24 and 25 days long, which means that at CD 27 with no spotting, I am practically late.  Never mind that the cycle before they got shorter was 42 days or something ridiculous.

For some reason around CD 10-12 I remember thinking I was ovulating.  My luteal phase averages 13 days, so if I was right about my ovulation (which I have no idea why I thought I was ovulating) I am late right? 

Since about last Monday, which was at best 9 DPO and to early to have had symptoms, I have felt mildly sick, no vomiting or anything, off and on.  I have been getting way more headaches than usual and I have been a freaking insomniac for the same amount of time.

TMI ALERT:  I have been having a disturbing about of cervical fluid for the last week or two.  It is really gross, and I keep thinking that I have started my period and better hurry myself to the bathroom.

So I am deciding between three options:

1) Test on CD 29 - Thursday - if I am not spotting.  CD 29 is both the day "normal" women are late and when I am late for my average.

2) Wait until our house closes, sometime this week or next, so that way if its negative I have some awesome news so its not to depressing.  Plus people on the house hunting shows always seem to find out that they are pregnant right when they buy a house.

3) Wait until October 18th, which is forever away, 58 days.  But it would be the estimated end of my first trimester.  It would also put me on CD 85 which is two weeks longer than my longest ever cycle.  If I were patient I would do that.  Then I am very unlikely to miscarry and without the knowledge of pregnancy I might avoid some of the symptoms, which I think are party in your head (but mostly in your hormones).

I know I am not pregnant.  After 5 years it is statistically doubtful that I will conceive without medical intervention.  But there is always hope.  God is the one really holding the cards.  And for some reason, this month I really feel like this is the month I get my miracle baby.  I am sure I have felt like this before, although probably not as strongly, or for so long (this is how pregnant I feel - I will be mildly surprised if I take a test and DON'T get two lines).  I am sure that I will feel pregnant again.  But I am kind of enjoying the optimism I'm feeling.
I think I might actually buy this shirt. 

And then right after I finished writing this entry, the following verse shows up in my Facebook feed:

Proverbs 3:5-7
Trust in the Lord with all your heart.  Never rely on what you think you know.  Remember the Lord in everything you do, and he will show you the right way.  Never let yourself think that you are wiser than you are; obey the Lord and refuse to do what is wrong.  GNT

The first two sentences caught my eye.  Why oh why do I read every Bible verse that could in any way, shape, or form relate to my being pregnant as a sign that I am?


I also read this one and it kind hit close to home. 

James 1:6-8
"But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do."

Comments

  1. Oh Rachel I completely know how you feel! I really hope you are pregnant, that would be so exciting!!! My period should start tomorrow or the next few days and I always find some symptom that I convince myself might be a sympotom of pregnancy. Monday morning I woke up and I was really dizzy and that was the first thing that came to mind. And I always have cramping, but always hope this time it's a different type of cramping. I had an ultrasound and they found a polyp in my uterus. My Dr. is going to do surgery at the end of next month to remove it and at the same time "look around" in there to see if she can find signs of endometriosis or anything else that might be keeping us from getting pregnant. She doesn't think the polyp would be the cause of it. When I had the ultrasound we realized that we were about halfway through my yearly medical deductible, so decided to try and get as much done this year as possible, so it costs less in the long run. If it were me, I think I'd take the pregnancy test sooner rather than later, that way I wouldn't get too excited as each day went by. For me, every day I wait I get more exicited that this might be it and then have a bigger let down. If you are pregnant I will be so excited for you!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. We should BOTH be pregnant this cycle! That would be super awesome! I'll probably test on Thursday or Friday. Patience isn't really my thing.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

Keep this in mind while posting. If you are mean, I will delete your comment. You may have an opinion but you may not be insulting to other people who comment, my religion, or myself.

Popular posts from this blog

Things That Annoy Infertile Girls (or Maybe Just Me?) - Flashback Friday

This was actually one of my more popular posts when it was first published, but I still thought I would share it again.  Any additions to the post are in pink, as usual :)

Accidental Pregnancies - So I have been trying for years to get pregnant, you go slut around and accidentally get pregnant? Immediate Pregnancies - You quit taking your birth control last month and now you are pregnant? People Who Give You Retarded Advice -           - Just stop trying and you will get pregnant
           - My friend adopted a baby and got pregnant right away, you should do that
           - Get drunk, people always get pregnant when they are drunk (Yes, they do. Because they are
             intoxicated and forget to take precautions.)
Whiny Girls That Pretend They Are Infertile - Trying for 5 months is not suffering from infertility. It takes a year on average to get pregnant.  I get that it might FEEL like infertility but it just isn't.  After YEARS of trying, I can't even remember what tr…

Review - Seven Everyday Slings

I got this sling because it was free, I only had to pay shipping.  Since I bought it, I have found out that it is VERY easy to find codes for this to be free, and I am pretty sure that if you ever pay full price for one you got duped.

I was SO excited.  I wanted a baby carrier really bad.  I didn't have a baby, but I am always collecting baby things.

In case you were thinking that I only review things that I like, I HATE THIS SLING! 

I have used it with tiny babies, older babies, and toddlers. 

Pros:
- Adorable, and available in a variety of colors
- Lightweight and compact, you can easily throw it in a diaper bag or purse
- Works from birth - 35 lbs


Cons:
- Terrifying to use with small babies.  They sink down in it, and its almost impossible to keep them from having their chin tucked to their chest, which is a huge no-no in baby carrying.  Basically when I had Cooper in it as an infant I spent the entire trip to the park making sure he was still breathing, then I started sticki…

Is Mother Goose Time Worth The Money?

Last night my husband asked me if I thought that Mother Goose Time was worth the money if I didn't get it for free.  I think this is an excellent question, and one that people probably want to know.

How Much Does It Cost?:
Mother Goose Time costs $75 a month for one child, including shipping if you buy it month to month.  If you can order and pre-pay ahead of time, you can save up to 15%, depending on how far ahead you pre-pay.  If you have more than one child using the curriculum it is only about $5 a month to add a child.  Many of the products provided cover the entire class, including manipulatives and story books.  The things that each child needs come packaged in their own bag for each child.

What I Think of the Curriculum:
The curriculum is great.  It is thorough and engaging.  It provides me with ideas and supplies to teach my son things I never would have thought to teach him, but will make him a very well rounded person.  He now talks about things he never would have talked…