Wife, Then Mama

 I am a dweller.  I remember random things from forever ago and am afraid people are still upset with me or think I am a creeper because of them.  Like if I ever walked behind you and accidentally hit your butt, I still remember, and I am still feeling really uncomfortable that you think I did it on purpose.  I am guessing that you have probably forgotten (this is hypothetical, but you get the picture) but if you didn't I am sure you think I am a pervert. Something really random that I dwell on and feel an abnormal level of regret/guilt over is the show Brothers and Sisters. For quite awhile I would go over to my grandparent's house to watch Desperate Housewives every Sunday night.   Even Michael would go with me (I think he just wanted in my pants because now he refuses to watch Desperate Housewives...) after we started dating.  I lived with them and got them hooked so it only seemed fitting that I come watch it with them after I moved out. Before De...

Michael suggested that I could work a couple of 8 hour shifts if I get a job at a 24 hour place like WalMart or WinCo.  Yeah 8 hours AFTER I baby-sit for 9 hours.  So I would get home at like 2 am and have to get up again at 7:25.  He apparently likes having a basket case of a wife who would spend the entire next day crying about everything. That is NOT a good idea, and not one I am even considering.  Just because he can function at a normal level on 5-6 hours of sleep does NOT mean that I can.  Not at all.

So, once I actually find a second job I will have to decide where the money is going.  I mean it is going into my uterus fund, but I don't know where that money will be directed.  First I thought I would try just a regular OB/GYN to get the initial testing done. But traditional doctors are pretty unhelpful in my opinion.  Yes, my ultimate goal is a baby, but to get there I would rather FIX what is wrong with me than just work around it.  So I am thinking about seeing a naturopathic doctor.  The great thing about them is that they are willing to work with natural means AND medical means.  So you kind of get the best of both worlds. The other thing I was thinking of was a chiropractor.  I have read good things about infertile women getting pregnant after going to a chiropractor for a few months.  Apparently it aligns your whole body, not just your back. Ugh.  I am going to be working hard for my money (not actually doing hard jobs, just w...

Michael got a second job, and now I am looking for one.  I <3 my job, but I need more money.  I make pretty good money, especially for such an awesome job.  But fertility treatments are expensive, and I think after 5 years it is safe to say it could be extra expensive for me.  So I am hoping to get off "work" and then go to another job. It was just going to be a Christmas job, but since I have to buy a car to get to and from work, it will probably end up being long term so I do more than buy a car that I don't need after Christmas (I need a van to haul the kids around in, but I don't want a van to commute in).  Plus I can only make a few hundred dollars in month or two, which would only pay for like one doctor appointment. All of my supplemental job money is going straight into savings so it can go into putting a baby in my uterus.  I am probably going to steal most of Michael's second job money too. One problem is that I have limited hours, anot...

So some people would be like "oh I have been so busy I have not had a minute to blog".  Not me.  I have loads of free time (more than I should really, because my house is not sparkly and clean) but I spend it in worthy pursuits such as living vicariously through the Sims 3 (by the way, how ironic is it that I have no problem getting random sims to reproduce, but whenever I make Michael and I, we have to try for a baby like 30 times before it happens?) ,playing Slingo, pinning things to my boards on Pinterest and reading message boards about The Baby-Sitters Club.  Yeah I am super cool. I just have issues blogging.  I want to be witty and charming, not repetitive and naggy.  And honestly, most of the time I just feel whiny.  I think I have started my period.  Yup I think it has started.  It isn't really a period, but it isn't really spotting either.  So who knows.  I am counting it as a new cycle and starting to take all my mass amoun...

The verdict is: NOT PREGNANT!  Just super f-ed up.  I wasn't going to test, but today is Michael's birthday and he said I should test on his birthday so I did.  Surprise, surprise, one pink line!  So I am going to try drinking massive amounts of grape juice, which for some reason is supposed to start your period if its late, as well as regulate you according to one or two websites LOL.  Everything else I read sounded expensive and disgusting.  If it doesn't start in the next week or two I will probably have to fork over the money to go to the doctor and get Provera... UGHHHHH.  I really need a room mate, so I can afford to start doing fertility stuff.  But this next cycle, should I ever actually get to it, I am going to take my temperatures everyday.  That way I don't ever have to wonder if my test will be positive. 

This is TMI post.  Just to warn you.  If you don't want to hear about gross personal things, I advise you stop reading now.  Or I guess at the end of the next paragraph, It rained for 40 days and 40 nights.  I am now 42 days late for my period.  I last tested 41 days ago.  I hate testing.  Especially when I am SO late.  It is so much wasted time trying to conceive when it comes up negative.  I try to walk a fine line between hopeful and cynical.  I spend hours looking up any sort of symptom on the internet.  Mostly the links just go to message boards with infertile women asking if it could be a symptom. My symptoms are: This is how hungry I am.  All the freaking time.  I am going to get fat. I am hungry like a hippo I have been having a disturbing amount of mucus for quite some time now My nipples hurt A few times in the last couple weeks I have thrown up in my mouth a little, which while not unheard of for me...