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The Story of My Life or My Rant About Not Getting Pregnant

Every month (or cycle really because my periods do not run with the calendar, or even the lunar phases) I get hopeful that this was the month.  I'm just sure that this is the month that we got the eggie. 

Well for the last 40 cycles I have been wrong.  It get a little bit annoying.  Actually its pretty much the worst thing that happens to me every month. 

I get so many symptoms: tired, nauseated, sore swollen feeling boobs, super hungry.  I am pretty darn sure they are all in my head.  Because until I started trying for a baby, I had pretty non-eventful periods, and pretty much no PMS.  Now I have PMS like crazy (my poor husband has to listen to me scream and cry all day about 4 days before my period starts).  I think my body knows that it didn't get pregnant and is mad. 

So starting in around October (depending on finances, which are always a problem for us) we are going to start going to a fertility specialist.  Sounds super fun.  I'm going for sarcasm, but its pretty hard to convey that through typing.  I am NOT looking forward to this.  First of all, the doctor is a man, which makes me pretty uncomfortable, I prefer lady doctors for the poking and proding if it has to be done at all.  Secondly, its a pretty unromantic way of making a baby.  Not that I am a romantic type person, but getting pregnant from a cathetar on a table is a not really the way I figured I would make a baby.  That and its pretty expensive, and only has a 15% success rate each cycle.  And twins (or triplets or quads) are such a higher risk with fertility medication.  Super scary!  Actually I wouldn't mind twins, to make up for lost time, but anything higher is terrifying.  Especially since I am planning on a natural birth at home with a midwife.  I will tell you all about my thoughts on natural childbirth soon, I'm sure.

So if I could just get pregnant in the next couple months and avoid the whole thing I would REALLY appreciate it.  Prayers are greatly appreciated!
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