Today I decided to decorate my computer for Christmas. So I set about getting new wallpaper for the screen. This was a bad idea.
There were a few Christmasy pictures, quite a few movie stills, some blood covered half naked girls from a movie called Black Christmas, an adorable picture of babies in Santa hats (which I tried to use and I could have avoided this whole burn my eyes out ordeal if it had let me), some weird anime that may or may not have been Christmasy and porn.
I am not a complete prude. Okay well mostly I am, but I don't really care about seeing pictures of naked girls, after all, sometimes, like when I take a shower or change my clothes, I am a naked girl. But apparently naked girls are not slutty enough for some people. They have to take it about 986 steps further. What on earth possesses you to put on a Santa hat, spread your legs, stick something in an exit only place, take a picture and then POST IT ON THE INTERNET? Or to do any of the other horrifying sex acts that came interspersed with my Charlie Brown, A Christmas Story and The Grinch pictures.
And Google! What possesses them to have these where any poor soul who types in something innocent like Christmas can see things they didn't even know people did! Google has safe search, but it doesn't work very well, AND you have to remember to turn it on.
Thanks to Google, my eyes have seen things that if I had been born before the internet they never would have seen. This is not a good thing, its a gouge my eyes out with hot pokers thing.
There were a few Christmasy pictures, quite a few movie stills, some blood covered half naked girls from a movie called Black Christmas, an adorable picture of babies in Santa hats (which I tried to use and I could have avoided this whole burn my eyes out ordeal if it had let me), some weird anime that may or may not have been Christmasy and porn.
I am not a complete prude. Okay well mostly I am, but I don't really care about seeing pictures of naked girls, after all, sometimes, like when I take a shower or change my clothes, I am a naked girl. But apparently naked girls are not slutty enough for some people. They have to take it about 986 steps further. What on earth possesses you to put on a Santa hat, spread your legs, stick something in an exit only place, take a picture and then POST IT ON THE INTERNET? Or to do any of the other horrifying sex acts that came interspersed with my Charlie Brown, A Christmas Story and The Grinch pictures.
And Google! What possesses them to have these where any poor soul who types in something innocent like Christmas can see things they didn't even know people did! Google has safe search, but it doesn't work very well, AND you have to remember to turn it on.
Thanks to Google, my eyes have seen things that if I had been born before the internet they never would have seen. This is not a good thing, its a gouge my eyes out with hot pokers thing.
Bottom line: when you Google Christmas, you should squint your eyes and turn your head to the side. If it even remotely looks like nakedness, move on so you don't have to see the horror of whores.
But then you might miss adorable pictures like this...
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