Wife, Then Mama

I'm being naughty this cycle, and I am totally refilled my Clomid presctiption from last Spring/Summer without teling my doctor.  So hopefully I don't get OHSS and die or anything. My last cycle was like 46 days long and I didn't ovulate.  My fertility trackers both said that I did, but I am 99% sure they were wrong.  So I decided to try the Clomid again. My doctor had me take it cycle days 5-9, but since I tend to ovulate early (or used to back when I ovulated on a regular basis) I took it cycle days 3-7 and should be ovulating soon. When I last took Clomid it was at 25 mg a day and I had no side effects.  I also didn't ovulate one of those 25 mg cycles.  The first cycle I took 50 mg and had a couple.  My eyes were really dry and yet watery at the same time and I had a few mild hot flashes. This time I am noticing that I feel a little dizzy every once in a while.  Since its not the same as last time, I think it might all be in my head. TMI A...

In case you some how missed it, I'm in a pretty pessimistic mood lately. Moving and infertility really get you down. I've covered moving in great detail lately, now I will tell you how infertility is related to my moving trauma. Michael's sister is pregnant.  I (with a few exceptions) attempt to avoid pregnant people like the plague.  Honesly if you are my Facebook friend and you get pregnant, chances are that I will unsubscribe from you,  I don't unfriend you, I just don't want to see: complaints about being pregnant - You are pregnant, I am not.  So the last thing I want to see is you complinaing about it.  Morning sickenss lasts 9 months or so.  My inablitity to conceive a child has lasted almost 5 yeras. belly pictures - I'm just jealous okay? ultrasuonds - still jealous Usually I see Michael's sister very rarely.  But living at his mom's house, I am pretty sure I will have to see her more often (I don't hate her, I am just incredibly...

Since the property that started this whole buying a house/moving thing isn't available, we decided to keep looking.  Seeing as how we had already given our landlord our 30 day notice, and started hauling our stuff over to Michael's mom's house, we didn't have much choice but to continue in the plan to move.  We knew it might fall through, but we didn't know what an epic failure it would be. We have an awful realtor it would seem.  We give her lists of houses we would like to look at.  She gives us lists of reasons that she can't/won't show them to us.  She also decided that we were not interested in shorts sales.  And since Michael told her that that we were in fact interested in short sales, she has not emailed us back in 2 days.  Which is a pretty long time, considereing that she usually writes back in a efw hours. Se we have seen about 2 houses so far.  Including the one we can't have. Unfortunately, because of my job (baby-sitting at my ...

I feel like my last mocing rant didn't really get into just how much I hate moving  THIS time. See, I failed to mention that I have been living in a house with almost no furniture for two weeks.  Michael moved our dining set, and I gave away our living room furniture.  It was REALLY old and crappy and I was afraid that if I waited until the last minute no one would take it and I;s have to figure out what to do with it.  We are buying my grandma's furniture, so we don't want to pay for  storage shed for furniture we don't want and don't need.  Boxes fit in Michael's mom's garage.  Couches loveseats AND boxes, no so much. Also we had a property all picked out to buy as soon as we saved a down payment.  Turns out that it is zoned interchange, which basically means that no banks will finance it.  So unless I can come up with $150,000, its not an option.  Seeing as how we make about $40,000 a year, I just don't see that happening, especia...

Moving sucks.  I cannot emphasize this enough.  I hate pretty much every aspect of moving.  I hate packing, unpacking, cleaning, lifting heavy things, you name it, I hate it.  And its not just the physical aspects of moving that get me.  Mentally and emotionally, moving really destroys me.  I don't really know why, but at one point, six years ago, I colapsed in a puddle of tears in the toilet paper aisle at WinCo during a move. Sometimes I deal brtter than other times.  For instance, short moves that leave me in a better situation are obnoxious, but they don't leave me distraught. This move has brought me down to WinCo crying levels.  At first I was okay with moving back to Michaels' mom's house.  Then I heard some news (whihc will be passed on in a later engty) that changed my mind entirely, bt it was to late.  So I spent my weekend (or at least a good protion of it) crying in bed. Another thing that bothers me about moving this...

vaccines epidurals pitocin sunscreen pretty much all pharmaceutical drugs, but I am still kinda willing to take them to get pregnant Satan/demons shampoo, conditioner, lotion, etc. milk (unless it was organic and raw) the end of the world being scared of the end of the world, since as a Christian I am supposed to be excited about the end of the world not ever being able to have a baby eating new foods spiders (big ones) snakes (no matter what the size, they just freak me out) all the things that some people say are occult and then I wonder if they are, for example: acupuncture, mindlessly reading your horoscope (even if I just think its a big joke), yoga, etc. cleaning products meat (unless it was grass fed, free range organic meat) c-sections (aka, being gutted or being chopped in half)

Reasons I am not failing this week: -I have read 25% of the New Testament this week -I have gotten up early and made breakfast for Michael every morning -I have gotten up early and made lunch for Michael at least most mornings -I have gotten up early and started Michael's car every morning -I cleaned of the patio (including throwing away the pool that has been sitting there deflated and empty since summer) which Michael has been asking me to do for some where around 3 months Now if only I could get a clear temperature shift showing ovulation.  All my calenders tell me that I have ovulated, but looking at the chart I beg to differ.  *sigh*

I have moved at least 20 times in my life, but I think its actually about 22 times.  I can't remember the first 5-7 so I am just guessing.  Now I am going to move twice more in the next few months if all goes according to plan.  You would think that it would be a cinch for me now, but I think I hate it more and more each time.  Especially since my parents don't do all the work for me now. For the first four years or so that Michael and I were married we lived with his mother.  I didn't really enjoy this at all.  So I was pretty overjoyed when we finally moved out into our apartment.  GUESS WHAT!  Now we are moving back in with his mom. This sounds worse than it is.  We are doing great financially (well great for poor people) which means we want to buy a house.  We have no savings though, as we tend to spend what we make, because we are irresponsible people.  We can come up with money pretty quick by cutting back a little, but we...

Last year I made a few resolutions.  As expected I failed miserably.  Skinny - Epic Failure.  Instead of losing weight I gained it.  I am well on my way to being a fat girl.  130 lbs isn't that much worse than 120 lbs right? Tidy -  The only one I didn't completely screw up.  I mean right NOW my house is destroyed, but that is due to a combination of trying to put Christmas decorations away and packing (more on that later).  I have done a lot better at keeping the house clean, although I am still no where near where I would like to be. Well-Read (reading the Bible) - Another epic failure. On the same note I did go to church quite a bit this year. For 2012 I decided to make a list of things I would LIKE to do.  But its just a list of potential things, which I want to do, but if I get even a couple of them done I will be happy. -HAVE A BABY - This is my number one goal, but one that I have pretty much no control over. -Lose 10 lbs -...