The little girls I watch are generally really well behaved, obedient sweethearts. They are both three years old and the last major "issue" I had was probably a year ago when Jordyn didn't think she needed to stand quietly in time out for two minutes. After approximately 45 minutes of making her stay in time out she finally quit throwing her tantrum and we never had an issue with it again, both girls do time-outs beautifully.
Today I took the kids to the park. Anytime it isn't pouring down rain I try to take them, figuring we could all use the vitamin D and exercise. Then since the store is like a block away from the park I decided to get a soda. Because I am a cow, but that is besides the point. Jordyn was in the stroller, I was wearing Cooper, and Hadlee was walking. Since it isn't a big store the stroller is kind of awkward and since Jordyn can walk I figured I could just let her get out and leave it outside. If I had known how this would pan out, I would have left her in the stroller.
I told Hadlee to hold onto the stroller while I took the cupholder off the stroller so Jordyn could get out. Apparently she did not want to do that. As I was helping Jordyn out I noticed she was not holding on. I told her (again) to hold on to the stroller. For some random reason, she refused. So I told Jordyn to hold onto the stroller, put the cupholder bar thing back on the stroller, and told Hadlee to hold on again. She still refused, although I do not really recall her saying no, she just would not do it, so I told her to sit down and have a time out.
This is where things went downhill quickly. She started laughing at me! I know kids do that, but as I said, both the girls are generally really well behaved, and do not really disobey very often, so this was a new one. I decided to empty threat her and asked if she wanted a spanking (please note, I am NOT anti-spanking, but I obviously do not spank other peoples' kids). She said no but was still laughing, so I am guessing either she doesn't get spanked much (I talked to her mom, and she said that sometimes she tells her yes, she does want a spanking... So I totally dodged a bullet on that one LOL) or she has figured out that I don't spank them. I will be honest, at this point I was fairly irate. I told her that she didn't get to sleep with an animal at nap today, which apparently is worse than a spanking because she quit laughing and started listening. I told her not to talk on the way home, and that next time we went to the park she didn't get to play, mostly because I was still annoyed and didn't really feel like chatting.
When we got home I told her to go to time-out, then I let Jordyn pick a candy and watch a cartoon. At that point she realized she was in big trouble and started bawling. Which made me want to say oh, its okay, just go watch Mickey Mouse. But I didn't want to lessen the magnitude of the situation, because I would rather deal with this once then on a regular basis. I did decide that she could look at books instead of going to sleep, and I explained to her why she was in big trouble, and that I wanted her to grow up to be a nice lady, not a mean lady so I have to make sure she makes good choices. Then I hugged and cuddled her and let her get some books.
When Jordyn was done with her cartoon we went into the playroom and Hadlee told me she was done crying. She had also pooped her pull-up, which may have been her way of punishing me. Or she might have just needed to poop, I don't know how vindictive three year olds are. I changed her diaper, tucked them both in, and told Hadlee she could play at the park next time, I was overreacting.
I hate getting kids in trouble. I mean I don't mind sending them to time-out because they were jumping on the furniture, or not getting them something because they didn't say please, but I really hate when its more out right defiance stuff. I always wonder is the punishment to harsh, is it to lenient, do they understand why they are in trouble, do they know I still love them, I just don't like the naughty behavior? I tend to error on the harsh side, because, like I said, I would rather have it be an issue once than deal with it all the time. If they would just behave well all the time I wouldn't have to deal with it.
Has a child in your care ever laughed at you when you were trying to discipline them? How did you respond?
Today I took the kids to the park. Anytime it isn't pouring down rain I try to take them, figuring we could all use the vitamin D and exercise. Then since the store is like a block away from the park I decided to get a soda. Because I am a cow, but that is besides the point. Jordyn was in the stroller, I was wearing Cooper, and Hadlee was walking. Since it isn't a big store the stroller is kind of awkward and since Jordyn can walk I figured I could just let her get out and leave it outside. If I had known how this would pan out, I would have left her in the stroller.
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| Hadlee definitely isn't Little Miss Trouble, like I said, she is usually super well behaved. She just took a little break from it today :) |
I told Hadlee to hold onto the stroller while I took the cupholder off the stroller so Jordyn could get out. Apparently she did not want to do that. As I was helping Jordyn out I noticed she was not holding on. I told her (again) to hold on to the stroller. For some random reason, she refused. So I told Jordyn to hold onto the stroller, put the cupholder bar thing back on the stroller, and told Hadlee to hold on again. She still refused, although I do not really recall her saying no, she just would not do it, so I told her to sit down and have a time out.
This is where things went downhill quickly. She started laughing at me! I know kids do that, but as I said, both the girls are generally really well behaved, and do not really disobey very often, so this was a new one. I decided to empty threat her and asked if she wanted a spanking (please note, I am NOT anti-spanking, but I obviously do not spank other peoples' kids). She said no but was still laughing, so I am guessing either she doesn't get spanked much (I talked to her mom, and she said that sometimes she tells her yes, she does want a spanking... So I totally dodged a bullet on that one LOL) or she has figured out that I don't spank them. I will be honest, at this point I was fairly irate. I told her that she didn't get to sleep with an animal at nap today, which apparently is worse than a spanking because she quit laughing and started listening. I told her not to talk on the way home, and that next time we went to the park she didn't get to play, mostly because I was still annoyed and didn't really feel like chatting.
When we got home I told her to go to time-out, then I let Jordyn pick a candy and watch a cartoon. At that point she realized she was in big trouble and started bawling. Which made me want to say oh, its okay, just go watch Mickey Mouse. But I didn't want to lessen the magnitude of the situation, because I would rather deal with this once then on a regular basis. I did decide that she could look at books instead of going to sleep, and I explained to her why she was in big trouble, and that I wanted her to grow up to be a nice lady, not a mean lady so I have to make sure she makes good choices. Then I hugged and cuddled her and let her get some books.
When Jordyn was done with her cartoon we went into the playroom and Hadlee told me she was done crying. She had also pooped her pull-up, which may have been her way of punishing me. Or she might have just needed to poop, I don't know how vindictive three year olds are. I changed her diaper, tucked them both in, and told Hadlee she could play at the park next time, I was overreacting.
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| Do I look like trouble? Why yes, in fact you do! Only troublemakers get their faces pixelated :P |
Has a child in your care ever laughed at you when you were trying to discipline them? How did you respond?
Hi! I found your post over at the 'Loving our Children' linkup. When my son (now 20) was about the same age as the girl you watch, I remember a few times he would get defiant. I do think it's just them testing their boundaries, so we do need to discipline them to remind them, there are consequences for disobedience, just as God disciplines His children. I understand being uncomfortable spanking other people's kids, though. Sounds like taking the stuffed animal was a good alternative. I think 3 year olds understand quite a lot and a simple explanation and a hug after the consequences (I don't like to call it punishment) are carried out is appropriate. I also like the idea of giving praise and once in a while rewarding a well behaved child. I think it encourages the child that good behavior brings good consequences.
ReplyDeleteAnn @ Christ in the Clouds
I have heard people say before that the terrible twos are nothing compared to the terrible thress, and although the girls are no where NEAR terrible, I kind of think those people were on to something :) They are much more defiant now then they were a year ago.
DeleteI totally agree with the idea of both positive and negative reinforcement, and try to reward good behavior as well.
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