Wife, Then Mama

I recently read a post on a blog.  It was about how coloring books stifle creativity.  You should just hand your kids plain paper. However, I realized that I don't care one iota about cultivating creativity.   I have seen a chart that was ripped to shreds on a Facebook post explaining good coloring vs. bad coloring.  I really want to make one myself.  Abstract art is NOT my thing.  In fact I think that most abstract art is either atrocious or looks like a small child did it. I have a wonderful picture that Miss Baby colored.  She did it SO well.  I told her what colors to color everything, and she did such a good job not scribbling (keep in mind she is 2!).  I was so pleased with her good work!!! After seeing the chart and reading about the perils of coloring books, I got to thinking about what I care about in regards to my kids.  That post will be done later.  This post is about what I don't care about. C...

Lately I am a wreck.  Not on the outside, just on the inside.  And vocally.  If you talk to me for more than 5 minutes you will realize that I have one thing, and one thing only on my mind.  "My" babies. Obviously the details of the babies cases are not allowed to be public information.  Heck, I don't even know that much about the cases if I did want to break the rules and blab about them. But we have had both the kids for around a year now.  A year is the "magic" number for foster care.  At that point the plan is supposed to change from reunification to some other sort of permanency, either adoption or guardianship.  It doesn't always, sometimes they get extensions to get more time, and even when it does change, it can take months to do anything about it. Right now I feel like everything is so far up in the air I can barely see it.  I love both of "my" babies so much, and although its unlikely to happen, I have a terrible feeling that ...

I am the worst blogger.  The worst.  But I am a really negative person.  So unless I have something I really want to whine about, its hard for me to remember to write.  Or to think of something to write.  Plus I am really to lazy to take care of a 1, 2, and 3 year old (plus a 4 year old sometimes/days), clean my house AND still be bothered to do all that it takes to actually get people to LOOK at my blog posts.  You know, finding a great title (unlike "blahg" = blah + blog), taking a relevant picture so as not to infringe on copyrights, editing said picture to be "pinteresting" and to look good on link-ups.  Then finding the link-ups, reading and commenting on other people's posts because its bad manners to just post and run.  Yeah, seriously, its like an hour or more, and that doesn't even count the writing part. Sorry but if I get up early, I am not going to spend my time blogging.  I am either going to watch TV, clean house, or exer...

So I feel a little guilty.  Miss Baby gets her own blog posts all the time, but Little Guy never does.  But Little Guy just doesn't do as many amusing things.  And when he does, they are more "you had to be there" moments.  Like today, when he was intentionally falling down every step he took.  Funny, yes, but not a very good blog post. Anyways, back to "business".  My mom and I moved Miss Baby's stuff downstairs, so she and Hadlee can share the biggest bedroom.  She is getting old enough that she should be able to color and play with her "big girl" stuff, but she can't do that when she shares a room with Little Guy because he will either ruin things or eat them.  So now she is in a twin bed, which makes her look SOOOO tiny. She has been being a horrible brat about going to sleep, and I think her favorite thing to say right now is: "I stay awake.  Tonight I got her to go to sleep without a tantrum, but only after warning her that ...

Weird "side-effect" from cleaning my house:  The kids are playing REALLY well together. I have NO idea why they are playing better.  I don't know if its that a messy house subconsciously makes people stressed or if its because I have been actually busy, instead of "busy" on my phone or computer so they don't feel ignored, they just realize mom is doing her work. Or if its completely unrelated and just happened to happen at the same time.  But I am broken in the head, and the fact that they can all play (mostly) nicely together for hours at a time with no intervention makes me a little sad.  Its like I am unnecessary and although its great for them to be independent and bodes very well for their futures, selfishly it makes me a little bit hurt.    That is probably how people become "helicopter parents".  They realize that if they are constantly with their kids, the kids will "need" them to be able to function and so they ar...

As of today, I have been a mother for 1 year!  Unlike most people that become mothers, my baby is now 2.5, and probably won't live with me forever.  Despite the eventual sadness of losing Miss Baby, I would not trade anything in the world for getting to have her in my life, even if it is only temporary.  The suffering of years of infertility were totally worth it to have her be a part of my family.  The absolute unfairness of the fact that she has lived with us for her entire memory and we are her family but she will still probably leave us is terrible.  But (although I am taking it out of context) "it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all".  She is such a fun little girl.  She is sweet and nurturing, and although she does have a stubborn streak she is really learning to be polite and obedient.  She loves to help with the baby and is always wrapping up her baby dolls and feeding them, and changing their diapers....

Confession: I am a horrible housewife.  My poor husband often comes home to a VERY messy house for many, many days in a row.  The only time he doesn't is usually if I had someone come over that day, and even then, the cleaning only extends to the main living area. In fact, until this last week, if you came to my house and it resembled clean, feel very special, because I did it just for you! Last Wednesday I found an app on my phone called Motivated Moms.  I used the demo version for a day, loved it and I actually PAID for the app!  (In interest of full disclosure, I didn't actually use "real" money, I have the Google Rewards App and I earn money for the app store by doing quick surveys).  Its basically a glorified to-do list.  But the genius is that you don't have to think at all!  It has almost all the chores that need to be done around the house in a daily list.  It breaks down big jobs like cleaning the fridge into small jobs, like clea...