Skip to main content

Another Sad Good-bye

One year and about 2 months ago, my beautiful little girl, Miss Baby, was moved across the country to live with family members she had not seen in over a year.  (For those that don't know we do foster care.)  That was probably the saddest I have ever been, other than when my grandpa died.  But I was also angry.  The whole situation was messed up, and I didn't think it was right for her to be moved.

Today, Bitty Baby left.  Her situation was pretty good.  Her dad found out he had a baby, had a good record, and wanted to have his little girl.  This is a definite success story!  I actually didn't think I was that sad until we got the message yesterday saying she would go home today.  Then I realized that despite the good things about the situation, this was "my" baby!  I brought her home from the hospital, I fed her every few hours for a couple months.  I took her to the hospital for surgery yesterday (Yeah the judge was awesome and ordered her home the day after her surgery...).  I love her!

I think this is actually a little harder on me than when Miss Baby left.  Miss Baby was here for 18 months, and I still miss her now.  But there are two reasons this is hitting me so hard.  One: I didn't think I was going to be so sad, so it hit me like a brick wall, and Two: I am not angry like I was with Miss Baby.  Anger is a really easy emotion for me.  It is weird, and probably quite unhealthy, but I am pretty comfortable being angry.  Sad, not so much.

Also, for some reason I always have a hard time remembering Bitty Baby isn't here.  When she would go on visits, or with Michael somewhere I would always be like "Oh, I should feed her, check on her, change her diaper, etc."  Then I would remember she wasn't home and move on.  It isn't a crazy thing, I didn't actually go check on her, it just didn't register with me that she was gone.  So despite crying off and on all morning about her being gone, I still managed to forget for a split second that she was gone, and that started the waterworks again (kind of like writing this...).

We don't usually meet bio families, it isn't something we are comfortable with, and sometimes they are pretty hostile.  But, Bitty Baby's dad didn't actually lose custody, he never had it, and from everything I had heard he is a really nice guy, so I made an exception.  I carried her out to his car, reinstalled his car seat for him (because car seats are a pain, and I am pretty close to an expert at installing them by this point) and buckled her in.  I got all her stuff out of the car, and then when it was time to leave I couldn't help but cry, despite people being there.  I asked if I could give her one more kiss, and of course he said yes, so I went over, told her I loved her and then I had to leave.

Little Guy didn't make it easier, he was quite annoyed that I had left his baby sister.

Her dad said that he was totally open to maintaining contact, and even letting us take her for a day or something.  Michael thinks it will be easier to just cut off cold turkey.  I don't know what I think, other than that I am sad.


Popular posts from this blog

Things That Annoy Infertile Girls (or Maybe Just Me?) - Flashback Friday

This was actually one of my more popular posts when it was first published, but I still thought I would share it again.  Any additions to the post are in pink, as usual :)

Accidental Pregnancies - So I have been trying for years to get pregnant, you go slut around and accidentally get pregnant? Immediate Pregnancies - You quit taking your birth control last month and now you are pregnant? People Who Give You Retarded Advice -           - Just stop trying and you will get pregnant
           - My friend adopted a baby and got pregnant right away, you should do that
           - Get drunk, people always get pregnant when they are drunk (Yes, they do. Because they are
             intoxicated and forget to take precautions.)
Whiny Girls That Pretend They Are Infertile - Trying for 5 months is not suffering from infertility. It takes a year on average to get pregnant.  I get that it might FEEL like infertility but it just isn't.  After YEARS of trying, I can't even remember what tr…

Review - Seven Everyday Slings

I got this sling because it was free, I only had to pay shipping.  Since I bought it, I have found out that it is VERY easy to find codes for this to be free, and I am pretty sure that if you ever pay full price for one you got duped.

I was SO excited.  I wanted a baby carrier really bad.  I didn't have a baby, but I am always collecting baby things.

In case you were thinking that I only review things that I like, I HATE THIS SLING! 

I have used it with tiny babies, older babies, and toddlers. 

- Adorable, and available in a variety of colors
- Lightweight and compact, you can easily throw it in a diaper bag or purse
- Works from birth - 35 lbs

- Terrifying to use with small babies.  They sink down in it, and its almost impossible to keep them from having their chin tucked to their chest, which is a huge no-no in baby carrying.  Basically when I had Cooper in it as an infant I spent the entire trip to the park making sure he was still breathing, then I started sticki…

Manipulatives Monday GIVEAWAY from Mother Goose Time - closed

Giveaway closed! Thank you so much to everyone who entered, I really appreciate it!
I have excellent news!  Today is Manipulatives Monday, and Mother Goose Time is giving away a great prize!  One lucky winner will receive TWO bags of manipulatives!  Mother Goose Time will chose the prizes, but I assure you, whatever they send will be a lot of fun for your children!

Manipulatives are a big hit in our house.  Every month we get two new bags of manipulatives, and every month Little Guy asks if he can play with them before the month starts.  The answer is always no, but he tries every month anyways.  During the month we use them for the assigned activities but after we are done with the curriculum, I let him add them to his toy collection.
One thing that is in almost every box is a set of counters.  These are often in the shape of animals, which are Little Guy's favorites.  They are used for a variety of activities, and are always multiple colors, sizes, and/or shapes so they can be …